Postnatal Depression: My Story

When I had my first child, nothing could have prepared me for how I would feel. After 9 months of waiting, my daughter Naima had finally arrived and everything should have been perfect. Except it wasn't. 

The overwhelming feeling of love and joy that I expected to follow as she came into this world seemed to bypass me and instead I was left feeling empty and angry. These aren't emotions a person would normally associate with meeting their baby for the first time but that's how it was for me. It seems like such a horrible thing to say and I did question writing and sharing this as I would hate for anyone to think that this is how I feel about Naima today, because its not. They say time is a healer and with time, my love for her grew as she did. I love my daughter more than anything, however it doesn't take away from my experience as a new mother and how much I wish my first memories of her were not tarnished with these negative emotions.

"People will forget what you said, people will forget for you did but they will always remember how you made them feel" - Maya Angelou

Whilst my labour was straight forward with no major complications, I attribute what I encountered during that time to causing my postnatal depression. My memory of the birth has become somewhat hazy over time although, I do remember my appointed midwife conducted herself with as much warmth and compassion as a robot and subsequently left me feeling scared, frustrated and helpless.

Having PND is not something I would wish on anyone however it's something I am no longer ashamed about so I decided to share my story in the hope it can help someone else.

If you would like to hear more about what I went through afterwards then you can check out the latest video on my YouTube channel where I talk about realising I had post natal depression, how it was for me and how I came out the other side.

Lou xxx

10 Years Of Love And Life

This year my husband and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary and it's something that I'm pretty proud of. Anyone who is married or has a long term partner will know, as much as life as half of a duo can be amazing, it can also be challenging.

After getting married in our early twenties, our first child came along a few months later. We went from being young and carefree to adulting pretty quickly and we've had many things thrown at us along the way, some of which have changed us massively, both individually and as a couple. When you decide to spend the rest of your life with a person, the hope is that you grow together and want the same things from life, even after time has passed. In some ways we have evolved into very different people from those on our first date, however the vision we have for our family and life together remain the same. I believe this is what has carried us through the good and the bad.

Over the years there have been many amazing memories made and also experiences I'd happily never go through again.

We've had crazy nights out and some painful mornings after. We've felt the fear/joy of becoming first time parents and learning on the job. We've survived newborns and navigated our way through days blurry eyed. We've celebrated milestones between us and witnessed friends and family do the same. Those are moments to be cherished.

When times get hard, it's very easy to compare your partnership to others. Though as you experience your own relationship and get an insight to that of those around you, you soon become aware that the image people portray on social media or around acquaintances is not necessarily the reality of what goes on behind closed doors.

That snapshot of what you think a successful relationship looks like, most likely doesn't even exist in real life. Once I understood that people tend to wear a mask to deal with the world outside their four walls, I became more focused on the positives in our life instead of looking to other ideals for a step by step guide to a successful marriage when things get tricky.

(Throw back to  2011)

A decade on, with three kids and life getting busier by the day, we don't get a lot of one on one time together. As baby number one was conceived on the only holiday we'd ever had as a couple, my husband and I decided to go Barcelona for three nights, just the two of us, as a way of celebrating our marriage milestone. As a mother it was daunting leaving the kids, as a wife who missed being spontaneous with her partner in crime, it was fun and as human being who likes to eat, sleep and pee uninterrupted, it was bliss! If you want to see what we got up to on our trip, you can catch parts one and two of our Barcelona anniversary celebrations here on my Youtube channel or simply scroll down below.

If I could pass on any words of wisdom when it comes to being in a long term relationship (keeping in mind, I'm not all that wise!), I would say this:

Fairy tales don't exist, no one is perfect and life can really suck at times.  As long as you find someone you can laugh with through the rough times, the good times will come and you can deal with the imperfections of life together.

Lou xxx

My New Loves

Here we have yet another blog post dedicated to a new pair of boots. These are my new go to shoes recently added to my collection of black footwear. 

After having purchased these online from Mango, a brand which I haven't shopped with in a while, I've become a fan of the brand all over again since finding these babies! They fit like a glove, aren't out there when it comes to design and are the kind of boots that will look better with wear. Between the cuban heel to add a little height and metal detailing at the toes, they are my perfect black boot for autumn.

The price point was initially too expensive for me at £89.99, however after going in the Mango sale and on the ASOS website I couldn't resist! Unfortunately Mango no longer have them but ASOS still have a couple of sizes left if you fancy getting your hands on a pair.

Lou xxx

Retro Footwear

The latest addition to my shoe collection was inspired by my love of 70's fashion, then again it may have been the 90's era.  If the 20 year trend cycle is to be believed, in another 20 years time I may well be citing the current decade as the reason I purchase something similar to my latest quirky footwear from ASOS

From the gold and black snakeskin patchwork exterior with the round toe design, to the circular dark wood, chunky block heel, these are my way of instantly adding a touch of glam and eccentricity to plain outfits.

With a 3 inch heel, I find these are the perfect height for allowing me to go about my daily routine without worrying about toppling over or having sore feet at the end of a long day. However they also give me enough height to keep a night time outfit fun and flirty.

Whether I've worn them with skinny jeans or an A-line faux leather or denim skirt, I love the fact my throwback inspired boots provide a bit of retro chic for day or night. Thanks ASOS!

Lou xxx

Valentines OOTN

Valentines weekend is a chance for my hubby and I to do the couple thing, which at the moment is a rarity. I wanted my outfit to have an element of sexy, simple and effortless.    

As a lover of Kate Moss and her over all look, I took my date night outfit inspiration from the supermodel style queen.

Photo credit: Google Images

                                                     

Keeping with the Valentines colour scheme, I chose a burgundy slip dress, but went back to my fail safe black leather jacket with bag and heels to match. I opted for a silver necklace to finish off the Kate Moss grunge look.

Dress: Miss Selfridge via eBay 

Leather Jacket : New Look 

Necklace: New Look

Bag: Zara

Heels : Missguided

Here is the finished look taken from my Instagram, and I have to say it's the most like 'me' I have ever felt whilst not wearing my skinny jeans!

 My Instagram: @lolabstyleme

Who is your style inspiration when getting ready for a night out?

For links to the same or similar items, click below pics.

Lou xxx

My first Chanel!

My first post of the year probably should  have been a motivational and inspiring one but to be honest January totally dragged for me and I struggled to find my mojo. Now we are in February, I have no intention of starting off my 2016 blog on a downer and personally I can't think of anything more uplifting than a Chanel bag.

Ok ... so maybe not of the quilted leather kind with the intertwined CC logo, but my first Chanel bag all the same!

Inside my lovely little black and white bag was a gorgeous, classic red lipstick that every girl needs in  her make up collection. I received it as a gift for my birthday just days after watching a Favourite's video on You Tube in which a Chanel lipstick had been featured. For me it is one of those items that went straight to the top of my 'Must Buy' list that realistically I was never really going to get round to purchasing as I could only just about justify the price of  Mac lipsticks.

However now that I have tried and tested what feels like the silkiest, most luxurious lipstick I have ever used, I totally see what all the fuss is about and can safely say it's worth every penny. I'm not going to lie and say that the name of the brand has nothing to do with the feel good factor when wearing it. I mean, a bag is just a bag at the end of the day but when you see someone carrying a classic black CHANEL hand bag, made famous by Miss Coco herself, then it's no longer JUST a bag, right? 

When applying, it glides on the lips effortlessly and has the most beautiful sheen. I love the simple yet effective packaging, my favourite part being the gold detailing, which for me provides the extravagance. 

This is not just any old lipstick, this is my new go to item when I need a pick me up, extra confidence or just some good old Hollywood glamour.

Taken from my Instagram @lolabstyleme

I will end this first blog of 2016 here, and you never know, maybe my last post of the year will be about the ultimate of all bags. 

Photo credit: WhoWhatWear via Pinterest 

Well,  a girl can dream can't she?!

Have, you tried any of Chanel's lipsticks? If so, I would love to hear what your favourite colours are.


Lou xxx

Micellar Waters: Tried & Tested

Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last few months, you will most likely have heard about micellar water. Pronounced  "me-sellaire", the French brand Bioderma was the first one I came to know of over a year ago. However since then, bloggers and YouTubers have also been raving about one high street brand or another that has introduced this latest make-up remover/cleansing product to their line.

I am ashamed to admit that before I came across micellar water, I was a fan of good old baby wipes to take off my face at the end of the day. I'm not talking about a once in a blue moon type thing, after a few too many drinks, when wipes are the only conceivable option. Let's face it, after a night on the vino, removing any scrap of make-up at all deserves a high five, how you do it is irrelevant. No, in my case I am, WAS a lazy sod when it came to my skin care routine. I'm not going to pretend that I am a whole lot better, however now in my household, baby wipes are for the baby, kids and removing make-up swatches from the back of my hand. The new and (slightly) improved me, uses my new skin care favourite product to wipe away the grime before bed.

As someone who has very sensitive skin, the fact that there is no alcohol in this product meant I could confidently work my way through a range of different brands without caution. Regardless of which brand I have tried, I haven't been left with a stinging face or eyes.

So which brands have I tried and tested? Well, not a whole lot as I found my perfect brand early on in my mission to find the one for me. I began with L'Oreal's Skin Perfection Micellar Water, followed by Nivea's 3 in 1 Cleansing Water and ended with Garnier's version of the product.

Dipping my toes into the adult world of appropriate skin care, L'Oreal's water was a nice place to start.

There was no redness or discomfort during the removal process. My only dislke was that my face felt a little tight afterwards (and I do mean only a little), though nothing a moisturiser didn't sort out. I happily finished the bottle before moving onto the next brand. And that was...

Nivea. As a fan of their moisturisers I looked forward to giving this one a go and I wasn't dissappointed.

As with the L'Oreal one, there were no downsides when using the product and there was no taut feeling once I'd finished either. In fact, I would say my face felt like it had a layer of protective film over it and the feeling of clean skin and moisture felt comforting.

My journey ended with the Garnier Micellar Water.

It was the only one out of all three that gave me a sensation whilst using, and not a good one I might add. It wasn't bad or awful by any means, however given how the other brands felt on my face, I just didn't like the mild tingly feeling it gave  me, nor the tightness of the skin I was left with when done. I also found that my face became a tad red in appearance too so I didn't even get half way through this product, never mind finish the bottle.

After seeing the results of the Garnier brand, I realised how well the Nivea 3 in 1 Cleansing Micellar Water worked for me and haven't looked back since. 

The only thing that can tear me away from my favourite make-up remover would be the Bioderma brand. However at around three times the cost to purchase (which is still not expensive for skin care), I'm in no hurry to turn my back on something that works so well for me just yet.

What brand do you use? Let me know!

Lou xxx